i never post personal posts does anyone want an update on my life????
you’re getting one anyway
alright so lets review the last couple of months
hm ok so i still like my ex??? i dated him like a year ago. its strange i’m obsessive and weird. my friends are nice sometimes but other times i wanna punch them. there’s a couple boys in my school that are v cute so i call them my babes , but i never talk to them so thats weird too. the one in my studyhall has like reddish hair and i wish he loved me. the one in my bio smokes a lot of weed and has that “damaged boy” look and yeah idk
ok so i havent been doing anything except like reading and watching netflix and stealing packs if cigarettes from my mom and her bf and idk we’re in the new house now and my sister is pregnant i’m so excited!!!! if its a boy i hope she names it jude bc thats my middle name and its cute. i’m currently failing english bc i didnt write any essays this year or the term paper and i didnt tell my mom i might need summer school. i made out w/ a cute boy two months ago thats a highlight although he didnt like me at all and i think hes a tool. i’m growing out my hair its so awkward looking and i’m gaining weight really fast so i look horrendous pretty much all of the time. i dont think i’m depressed anymore i’m just very negative about my life so thats nice. sometimes i miss that girl i met at the mental hospital bc we just clicked and we were bffs instantly and i never have close friends anymore and its hard because i dont think any of my friends want to hang out or anything i always have to fake laugh around them and i dont think thats a good sign for lasting friendships. i really want to start writing poetry or short stories or painting or just SOMETHING. my life is at a standstill nothing is changing and its killing me and i guess no one cares and i dont either because its not a bad life, just boring. i’m scared i’ll never go to college and i’m stuck here forever. i want to make mistakes and fix them i want to be able to make my own choices.
The Front Bottoms - The Feud
She said tell me what I need to hear, what I wanna hear or else. I called her baby…
i really wish i could go back.. i mean, everything wasn’t so…difficult.. it was simple. i had a schedule, no time to be sad.. i had people that pretty much knew what i was going through all around me. i was on medication, people actually beleived me when i said i was depressed. at home, no one cares. yeah i attempted suicide a couple months ago, my mom chooses to ignore the fact that i’m mentally ill. my dad visited me everyday i was there. i half believed that somehow i could stop hating him. now he doesn’t attempt to contact me at all.